While getting ready for this wrestling season, I was taken back to the night I almost called it quits two years ago. It was early in my varsity career and I’d had “one of those nights”. In the first match of a dual meet, I made an unnecessary roughness call on an overly aggressive cross face and the head coach of the penalized wrestler went ballistic. Rather than taking control of the dual and penalizing the head coach for his unsportsmanlike conduct, I ignored the outburst and restarted the match.
I didn’t realize it at the time, but I had just set the tone for the entire evening.
For the remainder of the dual meet, every close call was questioned by each coaching staff. Loudly. Rudely. Belligerently. I spent what felt like half of the night at the scorer’s table. Bench decorum went out the window. Unsportsmanlike conduct by coaches became the default behavior. The fans, who were feeding off the behavior of their respective coaching staffs, began to get out of control.
I found myself in a terrible spiral. I’d be thinking about the last call and kick the next one. I’d be thinking about the last two calls and miss something significant in the action. I’d be thinking about the last two calls and trying to figure out what I missed and then I’d kick something else. It got to the point where I just wanted to find a whole and crawl into it.
By the time I got to the locker room after the dual, I was literally in tears.
I had spent four years working my way up to a varsity schedule. I had spent countless hours studying rules and reviewing the case book. I took great pride in my mechanics and the crispness and clarity of my signals. I always worked hard to stay in position by learning to anticipate and always hustling. I had finally arrived and this was the payoff?!?!?!
I decided then and there that I was done officiating wrestling.
Luckily, I called a good friend who also happens to officiate wrestling during my drive home. He was able to successfully talk me off the ledge. During our discussion, I agreed to finish the season and revisit the topic in the off season after some time had past and the nerves were not so raw.
Once the season ended, I had some time to reflect on moving up to varsity and THAT meet in particular. Obviously, I was responsible for letting the meet get out of control. I was clearly responsible for the losses of concentration. What exactly happened and how could I prevent it from happening in the future?
After some consideration, I believe the following to be my main points of failure:
- As a new varsity official, I was reluctant to some across as overbearing and allowed a coach to set the tone of the meet by not penalizing the first instance of unsportsmanlike conduct.
- As the wrestling meet continued, I compounded that first mistake by allowing the unsportsmanlike conduct to continue from both benches throughout the duration of the meet.
- Once I knew that I was having a night, I was reluctant to penalize the coaches for misconduct when they would take me to the scorer’s table. As a result, I spent way too much time taking abuse at the table.
- Once the circus on the mat started, I allowed the spectators to get inside my head compounding an already growing problem.
After further reflection, it was clear to me that I brought the whole thing on myself. As someone who had just moved up, I was clearly looking for approval and validation that I belonged at that level. Unfortunately, I went looking for it in the worst possible place.
It sounds crazy now, but when a close call would go against a wrestler, I’d glance at that wrestler’s coach to gauge their reaction. Upon catching my glance, they would take the opportunity to let me know what they thought of each and every close call. It was a frustrating, self perpetuating cycle.
The cycle had to be broken and it was up to me to break it.
I resolved to give wrestling one more chance and ended up with a full varsity schedule the following year. I began the year with a new attitude. While I would continue to be approachable and professional, I was going to exude confidence at all times and vowed to “take care of business” each and every time when appropriate.
There would be no more free trips to the table. Bench decorum would be observed at all times. Unsportsmanlike conduct would be penalized without warning when it occurred. Unruly fans that interfered with the contest would be removed from the premises.
I arrived at each site with a singular purpose – call the best match possible. Anything that got in the way or even threatened that singular purpose would be dealt with swiftly using all of the tools provided me under NFHS wrestling rules. I vowed to simply call the match and let the chips fall where they may.
Armed with my new attitude, I proceeded to have a great season.
It was amazing to see the difference in people’s attitudes towards me after making a few simple changes. The difference was like night and day. By establishing control, not caring how my calls were received and calling a good dual; I was able to get the respect and approval that I had been seeking.
My percentile based on coaches ratings increased. My top 15 percentile increased. My assignments got better. My love of the sport of wrestling was reborn.
November 23, 2011 can’t come fast enough.
It can be difficult when moving up a level. Don’t make the same mistakes I made. Learn from them. You’ll be a better official as a result.
keeping control, moving up
